WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!?!

GOOD GOLLY MISS MOLLY.... When in the hell did I get FAT???  I know, I know.... it happens over time and getting rid of it will not happen over night. I am well aware of that. My question is Why didn't anyone tell me? 

Well anyway, here I am...

It's ok, you can laugh, I don't mind. I am just over here crying. My tan lines are horrible! Golly Gee! I am also going to share my measurements and how much I actually weigh. This is almost as tough as sharing the pictures...

Scale level..... LYING.... there is no way I way 20#... Oh you mean it's 320# WOWZER.... That's all going to change. I am not looking for a quick fix, I am looking for a healthy change. At least I didn't break the scale and yes I know, I need a pedicure!

Well with this bit of info shared with all of you, my kind people who have been giving me support and encouragement, I wish you all a good night. Tomorrow I will start anew...

Sleep well and sorry for the nasty images right before bedtime.

POSTPONED

OK, so today didn't go as planned. I could come up with plenty of excuses why I couldn't start my new eating healthy plan today, but to completely honest.... I just wasn't prepared.

I worked until midnight last night and was completely bushed when I got home. I went straight to bed and had a very hard time sleeping more than 15 minutes or so at a time. My legs were restless and hurt so bad. My feet were throbbing. I did look over my list, but decided with today being soccer game and church day, it would be a tricky day to start. So I had an extra day to cheat.

I was sent this today. Once I get started I know all the obstacles will disappear. And did you know that many obstacles are mostly made up by oneself? Or at least in my case they are. I will make no more excuses to keep me from getting healthy, fit and happy.

So on this last night of FREEDOM, I will be eating a very nice large and loaded baked potato and a steak! Yep, sounds like a good last meal. LOL

DAY BEFORE

OH HOLY CRAP!!!!!

I am really going to do this. I am nervous as can be. You all probably are thinking, why? Well for starters, what if someone actually reads this blog and likes it, then pass it along, and they like it and then they pass it on and so on and so forth... all these people will be seeing my pictures. YIKES!!! That is why I am nervous.

So on this day before the dreaded picture day what will I be doing... Well I do have to go to work, so there is that. But I will not worry about what I eat. I might even finish off the brownies I made the other day. I might go ahead and buy myself a pop to drink. I gave pop up quite a long time ago with a couple splurges here and there. Maybe I will buy a big fat greasy hamburger to eat for dinner. Well why not have ice cream for lunch, dinner and dessert?  I do work by a chicken place, so maybe I will go have a drumstick or two...

In all honesty, I will not be doing anything different than what I usually do. Well, I might finish off those brownies if nobody lays claim to the last little bit. :) I will just be going over the check list in my mind about what to do tomorrow to start this journey. Water, lots and lots of water. I got that covered. I bought  gallons of water the other day to prepare. Yes, I buy water, I am a water snob. I don't drink tap... but that doesn't pertain to this story.

So on this day before, my stomach will be in knots. Not knowing if this is all a waist of time, or if in fact it will be a blog that is followed and will help me be accountable to myself. What if I am an inspiration for someone who reads it. That would be completely cool, I won't lie! So if you all don't mind, if there is a you all... PLEASE......

WISH ME LUCK!!!!

WHAT I AM LOOKING FOWARD TOO

As I was working today I kept thinking about what I will enjoy the most by losing weight. There are plenty of things actually. I work in retail and I am surrounded by clothes. So I kept going back to being able to wear cute clothes, stylish clothes... and look good in them too. When ever I get dressed up for any reason I always feel like this....
         

I need to feel comfortable in anything, well maybe not a swimsuit, I can't see that ever happening. That's a start tho, to feel comfortable. Losing weight will sure help with that. Here is a list of a few other things that I will enjoy more being at a smaller weight. I am sure some might seem simple, but sometimes to very overweight people, simple things aren't that simple.

• Bending over to tie shoes without not being able to breath and my face turning bright red
• Having more energy
• Being able to do athletic activities again
• Less pain in my joints
• Not have to worry about weight limits on ladders or roller coaster rides
• Not bumping into people in small spaces because my body is so big
• Enjoying life more
• Hopefully losing some breast size as well and be able to buy pretty bras instead of the industrial strength, plain, boring, might as well just use duct tape ones!!!

THE BEGINNING

I am almost 38. I have been overweight most of my life. But now, after I have finally realized (joking btw) that I will indeed NOT wake up skinny, I am going to finally do something about it. Not just say I will and start it then stop, once I meet my 1st weight goal. I am going to see this through. I have to. There are a lot of things riding on this. First and foremost I want to be there for my girls, be active with my girls, grow old watching my girls have a life and family of their own. For them I am doing this!!!

So, to hold myself accountable. I am starting this blog. There will be pictures, pictures I don't want to show, but need to show, to push me through this. Pictures of me in the past when I thought I was really fat. If I was only that "fat" now, I would be happy.  

I haven't measured myself, I haven't weighed myself, but I will. I will put it out there for the whole world to see, or at least the 1 or 2 people that might read this blog. I will be setting goals for myself and when I reach them and even if I don't, I will post about it.  I will complain I am sure, I will be grouchy, I am almost certain of this, but it will be worth it. I can't quit on this, I WILL NOT quit on this. 

I need to be healthy, happy and be able to wear cute smaller clothes! That's my goal, join me on my journey, It's sure to be an Adventure!